“I ain’t even gotta rap now, LIFE IS MADE…[you hear that?]..I said I even gotta rap now life is made…I’m laughing straight to the bank with this….Ha-Ha Ha, Ha, Ha Haaaa!!!. “, 50 Cent, “Straight to the Bank”.

So let’s face it. A 50 Cent album is not as hotly anticipated these days due to the phenomenon he became which led to over-saturation of the market. But I admit his albums are still one of the few I know I’m going to pick up. Why? Because bottom line this guy is an entertainer and a HILARIOUS one at that. I don’t think people realize how hilarious this guy is. Only those who pay attention to his lyrics really can know the clever humor 50 gives us on every album.

But let me backtrack and of course address the September 11th hype that just went down when Kanye West and 50 Cent dropped at the same time on the most infamous day in American History. For those who remember, the real September 11th, 2001 also fell on “album release” Tuesday and you may remember that Jay-Z released his classic BLUEPRINT album that day. September 11th, 2001 was a huge day not only because Jay-Z was releasing but Michael Jordan had arranged a press conference to announce he was coming out of retirement AGAIN. Of course once the twin towers went down Jordan postponed the conference but Jay-Z still released.

I vividly remember being in Chicago and having to get away from the job because them crazy fu%$$# at the job were still trying to get me to attend meetings when the world was collapsing!!!! I just straight up left work and figured I might as well go cop the new Jay-Z album and just try to clear my mind. September 11th fell on a Tuesday in 2001 and now fell on a Tuesday in 2007; It’s with this backdrop that the GREATEST DAY IN HIPHOP HISTORY occurred when the 2 biggest names in the game dropped simultaneously on September 11th, 2007. The hype was who would outsell who and of course Kanye won the first week of sales but that really doesn’t mean too much. Kanye can sell 10 million of his latest album and he’ll still have to sell three times that to even catch up to what 50 cent ALREADY sold in the USA and worldwide (not including what 50 is about to sell). So what’s happening now is pure Economics 101 – Law of Diminishing Marginal Returns – the more you consume of a product, the less value you get from consuming more of that product the next time…..50 cent is such a big name that he’s saturated the market and simply dominated for the last 4 years so of course as the market has had it’s fill of 50 being on the radio every freakin second his sales are bound to keep diminishing. There’s simply no way in hell 50 can sell 6 million every album. It’s impossible.

So just common sense tells you each year 50 will sell less and less so the hype about who will outsell who is just that, H-Y-P-E. Kanye will be lucky if he can ever reach the 30 million plus that 50 has already sold. About the only rapper who’s sold more is that dead guy named Tupac who has sold over 75 million albums (About 65 mil of that coming after he was dead!!!..LOL). So now that we got that “who can out sell who” nonsense out the way let’s concentrate on 2007 and 50 Cent. The whole way 50 handled this album release was extremely weird. He dropped “Amusement Park” and “Straight to the Bank” seemingly in January. So folks were checking for the album but it kept getting pushed back apparently because his singles weren’t topping the pop charts like in the past. Then 50 would release THREE more singles before the album even dropped. This was a move counterproductive to creating a buzz.

What it did was allow people to realize how mundane his club singles were. Yes they are good singles but his first two singles were “business as usual”, carbon copy club singles that got played out within 3 or 4 weeks. Not sure who’s handling 50’s marketing but it’s obvious ‘I Get Money” and “Ayo Technology” were the crème of the crop of his singles but he waited a lot later to release these. But we can harp on the blundered marketing attempts all we want on this album called CURTIS (supposedly the album got its name due to the Cam’Ron song made dissin 50 Cent whose chorus yelled “Curtis!!” all throughout the song) but the real story is the semi-lazy approach 50 gave us on his 2nd Shady Aftermath album. Yes that album sold 5 million but 50 could have come out with nursery rhyme songs and sold 5 mil just on the strength of the phenomenal GET RICH OR DIE TRYING. Well maybe about 2 mil.

What pushed 50’s 2nd release 3 mil more was the marketing technique of having a video for EVERY song on the album. Yours truly bumped them videos 8 months longer than I should have just because no artist in the history of man came out with an album and a DVD containing a video for every song on the album and of course Benz0 had TV’s in one of his rides at that time so it was perfect. On top of that 50 had the video game coming out at the same time and a highly anticipated movie in the works too. But most fans that bought that 2nd album were disappointed at the lackadaisical approach 50 took. Even worse he started “drinking the Kool-Aid” and thought that his beats didn’t matter and only HE mattered. Bad move in hiphop. So along with saturation of the market 50 is suffering this time around from a ho-hum 2nd album that had him losing fans that he’ll never get back. On this 3rd album I can honestly say he put in WAY more work on the construction of the album. But the question is….IS IT TOO LATE????? Even more important…SHOULD WE STILL CARE ABOUT 50?

Well the simple answer to all of this is: 50 is still doing his thing. This 3rd album is light years better than his last one. I mean what made us love 50 in the first place (hardcore persona with clever sing-song hooks fueled by that common man making it rich theme) is still present in the 2007 50 cent. GET RICH OR DIE TRYING had a gang of club and radio songs on it and it’s a club song “In Da Club” that sealed his legendary status. So on this 3rd album 50 gives us the same dose. Obviously “Amusement Park” is a blatant attempt to capitalize on the success of “Candy Shop”. But this is what 50 does and this is what made 50 loved by thousands of grandma’s living in the USA and in obscure regions like Brasov, Romania or Sofia, Bulgaria. So hell yeah he got club songs on here…Albeit there is an OVERLOAD of club songs on here. We’ve mentioned “Amusement Park”, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg of his club songs.

The last 4 or 5 songs of this album are straight up club songs. “Peep Show” (featuring Eminem), “Fire” (featuring Nicole Scherzinger – whom I’d make my wife for about 1 week), “All of Me”(featuring the soultress Mary J Blige) and “Touch the Sky” are all blatant attempts to stuff enough club fodder on this album for the paid-off radio disc jockeys to spin them records worldwide (Hey you think 50 did that Nicole P-doll chic or what?..I hope so!!). And you know what? I have no problems with these clubs songs cause actually these songs are respectable due to the effort that was put into them. The jewel of the club songs of course is “Ayo Technology”. I forget the boy band Justin Timberlake used to belong to but here’s one thing even Benz0 can’t deny. Timbaland has given Mr. Timberlake some of the funkiest beats man has ever made. It’s to the point where even Benz0 has had to contemplate the potential download status of some of Justin’s songs. Well “Ayo Technology” is another Timbaland banger that is just OUT OF THIS WORLD.

50 and Jus’tin!! come off lovely as 50 spits his patented razor sharp sex metaphors and Justin soulfully brings it home. Of course Benz0 has never really had a problem with the R&B song whose backbone is a hiphop track. Ever since Teddy Riley fused R&B with hiphop and came out with that New Jack Swing, fast paced R&B party tracks are almost interchangeable with hiphop tracks. So yeah you darn right. I like that “Ayo Technology”. Just a shame the marketing idiots in 50 Cent’s camp didn’t put that single out first or at least 2nd. Oh and “Follow My Lead” is respectable too but of course Benz0 presses the skip button when that comes on. The song should work well in 50’s eternal quest to dominate the radio airwaves.

Now we come to the part of the album where Benz0 really enjoys. 50 may have realized he can rule the world with lazy club songs but he hasn’t forgotten his street mix-tape side that got him signed in the 1rst place. Eminem paid 7 figures for 50 in what turned out to be a 50 Cent bidding war in 2002 due to how street and popular 50 was in the underground circuit. Leading the pack of street songs of course is “I Get Money”. While “Straight To The Bank” is genius due to the Slick Rick like HA HA HA HA HAAAA!!!! chorus, “I Get Money” gives all of us old-school centric, street loving, hardcore nigs what we really want. “I Get Money” features a remix for the ages as a Milk D (from Audio 2 fame) chorus from “Top Billin” is sampled and looped. This is one of the reasons Benz0 will still be open to copping that next 50 album cause you know he’s gonna give us some ridiculously hardcore tracks too.

On top of that peep this HUMOR!!! – “I took a quart of water and sold it in bottles for 2 bucks, then Coca-Cola came in and bought it for Billions…What the F&^%?…, Have a baby by me girl, be a millionaire, I’ll write the check before the baby comes, WHO THE F&^% CARES?, I’m stankin’ rich!!!, I’m a die trying to spend this s$#@…”. Now that’s hilarious. For those who don’t know 50 Cent made HISTORY by buying a stake in the product VITAMIN WATER and making MILLIONS when Coke Inc. bought it out for billions. So even if he didn’t sell over 30 mil+ his business advisors already made him one of the richest men in America. Amazing for a rapper. I need to hire me a new venture capitalist guy!! AG where you at? (Holla at ya boy when you graduate from Harvard Business School!). But wait there’s more! “My Gun Go Off” gives us that GET RICH OR DIE TRYING feel and “Man Down” is lovely. “Man Down” is that song he first previewed on MTV when we were all trying to get a sample of 50’s new album.

But the surprise of the album is that the washed up dude they call Dr. Dre actually came out with another decent hit with “Come & Go”. I mean Dre been shooting blanks for so long I thought he had become impotent. Of course this song still does have the ubiquitous Dre production like characteristics on here that are tiring but it’s still nice. We get more patented 50 humor on this song too – “When I [just] breathe I make a killin’, Cam (Cam’Ron of Dipset fame) buying condos I’m buying the whole building, I’m pizzzzing on grown women, R-Kelly do it to children, you bet against me boy I’m a hurt your feelings…”. The song that probably trumps all the street songs though is “I’ll Still Kill” which features Akon (who’s seemingly on every album – country or hiphop) who gives a stellar performance capitalizing on that soulful Akon “call to the wild” yell…”Ohhhhhhh!!!!”….Yeah Akon you alright man. Capping off those street anthems is the lovely “Movin On Up” and “Curtis 187”. Classic underground 50. Raw beats and straight to the point tough talk.

Of course 50 will NEVER leave us without a classic joint dissin’ your favorite MC’s out there as after all 50 built his name by doing songs like “How to Rob” where on that song he robbed everyone from R&B stars to Wu-Tang. The true hiphop fans have Ghostface Killer’s 2nd album (SUPREME CLIENTELE) in which on a skit he actually threatens to KILL 50 Cent for the “How to Rob” song. When I first heard that CLASSIC Ghostface #2 album I was asking myself “who the hell is 50 Cent?..”. I mean Wu-Tang wanted this dude dead and of course a couple months later 50 was shot about 20 million times as he sat in that “Passenger seat” (coincidence?).

On 50’s 2nd album, “Piggy Bank” (Video included) was the hilarious “I’m calling all ya’ll suckas out” song that made the hardest nig laugh uncontrollably. This year it’s “Fully Loaded Clip’ that has Benz0 doubling over with hilarious pain as 50 pretty much unleashes on every popular rapper out there. Peep the initial chorus “While Jay and Beyonce was Mmmm Mmmm Kissing, I was cooking 1,000 GRAMS in my kitchen, While Nas was telling Kelis, I LOVE YOU BOO!!!!!!!!!!, I was shining my Nine [millimeter], YOU KNOW HOW I DO!!!…I got a fully Loaded Clip!!!”. Man this guy 50 IS H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S!!!!!! This song by far is the hardest on the album and will get the most street buzz.

So what does this all mean? Most will not notice but 50 has actually put mad thought into this album. Yeah the overload of club songs is a bit disturbing but this is by far 50’s 2nd best album. The soundtrack, GET RICH OR DIE TRYIN actually gave us hope that 50 Cent was growing as an artist but at the end of the day 50’s bread and butter are club songs and promoting an image of steel and that’s what he’ll continue to resort to. The true 50 fans will be happy with this album overall. He gave us 17 songs (not including the HUNDREDS of underground songs he came out with on the G-Unit mixtapes) that all represent what 50 Cent is all about. And that’s entertainment. Is it groundbreaking? Hell no. But 50 is still giving the fans what we want.

More humorous 50 Cent. He’ll never be a Mos Def or Kanye or even Tupac. But he’ll always forever be that poor man turned rich man that overcame the odds to entertain the WORLD. And for that? Thank you 50. Glad you made it dawg. For those who liked 50’s first album, cop this album. This one’s not classic like that one but it’s entertaining with enough hits to keep ya head boppin’.

Benz0
Contact Benz0: BenzWritings@Hotmail.com

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